


Inside Out, Upside Down

by hcb53139 (ravinghazelnut)



Series: Wrong Direction [1]
Category: Iron Man - Fandom, Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers
Genre: Author thinks Steve is a dick in the movie, Canon Divergence, Gen, Lots of Tony angst, Not A Fix-It, Post-Captain America: Civil War (Movie), Tony Angst, handicapped
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-05-18
Updated: 2016-05-18
Packaged: 2018-06-09 05:42:34
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,624
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6892417
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ravinghazelnut/pseuds/hcb53139
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Tony can't get back up.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Inside Out, Upside Down

**Author's Note:**

> The movie just gave me so many Tony feels! I'm not completely happy with it, but I just love fics where Tony shows people up because everybody is so judgmental and rude to him. Steve sucked in the movie, and he just ruined any good image of Captain America I had left. :(

Tony almost flinches as the clang of the shield– _Captain America’s shield_ – drops on the floor near him, and he watches Steve choose Bucky–again. He can't seem to find the energy to move, though.

“Wait!” He screams in his mind, "I'm sorry. Please don't leave me. Don't leave me, don't leave me, don't leave–"

He feels like the spoiled rich kid who brought all the toys in the first place, but gets left out anyways. 

He can’t feel his legs.

…

T’Challa finds Tony two days later, lying in the very same spot, when he has his men swipe the area for anything suspicious but finds Tony Stark instead. 

He doesn't know the man very well, but it's hard to stop the pang of pity that emerges as he looks at Tony's form. 

Tony is unconscious, face bloodied and bruised, and his suit is still attached to his body despite the many cuts and dents. The round device in the center of his chest is broken, and T’Challa cannot even begin to speculate what it is, but it's not hard to surmise its importance. 

“I need medical assistance at the bottom, immediately.” He says into the earpiece and watches as his people lift Tony’s limp body onto a cot. He accompanies him to a hospital in Wakanda. 

The doctors tell him a lot of things after running tests on Tony, who was now hooked onto several machines on the bed (still unconscious), but T’Challa doesn’t hear anything after the words “permanent paralysis” and “may never walk again”. 

He stays in the uncomfortable chair by Tony’s bedside; he’s not sure why, whether if it’s guilt, pity, or something else, but he stays there, until Tony wakes up. 

T’Challa is horrified that the first reaction that Tony has to waking up is to choke on his own tears and scream, “I’m sorry! Please! I won’t do it again! Please stop!”

He’s read enough of Tony’s files to know about the rough childhood (abuse), Afghanistan (torture–PTSD), and Obadiah Stane (betrayal). He’s not sure which one of the three is the worst. 

“Steve, stop! I’m sorry,” Tony continues to plead, face contorted painfully, “I’m sorry. Please stop. I thought we were friends…..The arc reactor. Stop…” 

T’Challa can't do anything but watch helplessly, waiting for the writhing to stop, and not that he was trying particularly hard, but he can't ignore the damage that Captain Rogers has made anymore. 

The thrashing continues until it’s so bad that the doctors have to sedate Tony, and even then, T’Challa can see the fear on his face. He looks away.

When Tony finally wakes back up, he’s calmer now and his eyes focus on T’Challa’s face. 

“Where am I?” Tony rasps out, and his voice sounds broken even to his own ears.

T'Challa immediately straightens up in his chair and to his credit, manages not to look at Tony with pity in his eyes, “You are in the Kingdom of Wakanda. I found you in the base in Siberia, and took it upon myself to give you medical attention.” 

“Thank you, can I–can–can–” Tony starts to stutter like he can’t find the words, “Can I have some–water?”

T’Challa doesn’t comment on the stutter and hands Tony a cup, and watches silently as the doctors and nurses check him over.

“I can’t feel my legs.” Tony tells one of the doctors, who looks at him with something like sympathy in his eyes. 

“I feel that you would prefer if Mr.T’Challa were to inform you about your current physical condition, Mr.Tony.” 

Tony’s face pales at the tone that the doctor uses; he’s heard it used before. The last time someone used it, he had shrapnel shifting through his veins at every heartbeat and he was hooked up to a car battery. 

T’Challa waits for the doctors to exit the room and shuts the door softly.

“Why can’t I feel my legs?” Tony says, this time with panic evident in his voice. 

“You’re paralyzed. You probably won’t ever walk again,” T’Challa says, because sugar-coating it would do no good; he doesn't want to give the man any false hope. "I’m sorry.” He adds quietly, as a sort of afterthought. 

Tony doesn’t react quite the way that T’Challa would’ve guessed. 

He just looks at T’Challa for minutes, silently, and closes his eyes and falls back into the bed. He doesn't even look angry or surprised, just resigned. 

Tony doesn’t react when T’Challa stands up and leaves, shutting the door softly behind him. 

…

T’Challa had been kind enough to offer Steve and his team of fugitives a place to live after escaping the Raft, and they had been living at a small house by the jungle ever since the break-in.

Bucky had went back under. Steve is almost jealous of his form of escape. 

It’s two weeks later when he turns on the television, and Tony’s face appears on the screen.

He’s in a wheelchair, his head bandaged up and bruises and cuts still visible on his face and Steve feels guilty for a moment, but then he remembers what Tony had done– for Christ’s sake, couldn’t he just understand for a moment? The Winter Soldier and Bucky are completely different people, Tony couldn’t just blame Bucky for his own fuck-ups. Plus, Steve is pretty sure that he was doing Tony a favor by not telling him about the murder.

The argument sounds weak to his own ears.

Clint, Wanda, and Scott settle down on the couch next to him and they all watch Tony–Tony, strong, determined, no-bullshit Tony– stay silent despite the ludicrous accusations being thrown his way. He doesn't seem like he can even hear them

Steve is horrified at how pale and vulnerable Tony seems, and Tony stays completely silent until one reporter snaps, “Do you think Captain America will ever forgive you?”

At this, Tony’s eyes lift to meet the camera, and Steve is horrified at what he sees there: nothing. 

“No, I don’t expect him too,” Tony says, uncharacteristically quietly, with no anger, no guilt, no happiness, no fury; just quietly, “And I will never forgive him either.” 

Then he rolls away sullenly on his wheelchair and Clint spits, “What's Stark doing in a wheelchair? Trying to get people to fucking pity him?”

Steve’s about to glare at him, but surprisingly, Sam beats him to it.

A second later, Clint is holding his face in his hands, eyes wide in shock, “What the fuck, Wilson?”

Sam’s voice is quiet too, “You went too far, Barton,” His eyes snap up to find Steve’s, and he’s surprised by the anger he sees in his friend’s eyes. “And so did you, Steve. I worked with agents with PTSD for years, I can certainly recognize it, and Tony– _fuck_. Whatever you did in Siberia, Steve, I don’t think it was worth it.”

“I don’t–I didn’t have a choice.” Steve gulps, unsure of what else to say.

“Stark probably deserved it anyways.” Clint sneers again. 

Steve’s not sure how to feel. 

…

Thank God he has Rhodey. 

Tony’s not sure how he would survive without him. 

(“I’m sorry. I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, you can't fucking walk, I'm so fucking sorry–”

“Tony, listen to me. Steve fucking Rogers fucked up, not you, alright?” 

“Don’t say that, don’t say that, it was all my fault. If I had just been _better_ …I deserve this. I know that." 

“Don’t you dare say that, Tony.”

“But it’s all my fault…”

“Shut up.”)

…

Six months after Tony gets discharged, T’Challa visits him in the tower. 

“Mr.Stark,” He regards coolly, “I am providing a sanctuary for Captain Rogers and his team.” 

“I know.” Tony says, because he knows. 

The king blinks, but otherwise doesn’t show any sense of shock, “I believe that it is time that you should talk with them. General Ross has been dealt with.”

“Sorry, T, can’t do that.”

“Mr.Stark, if you could consider the possibility of a discussion, that would be appreciated.” T’Challa says back without missing a beat.

“Yeah, seriously, no.” Tony grinds out. 

“I’m sorry, Mr.Stark, if you continue to refuse, I will be forced to take...more drastic measures." 

“Why the fuck would you even need that? I’m in a fucking wheelchair! I can’t go anywhere!” Tony throws his hands up, and he doesn’t miss the way that T’Challa flinches at his words. 

They both stay silent, and Tony broods silently as T’Challa pushes his wheelchair towards the quinjet.

…

“Mr.Stark will be arriving in an hour.” T’Challa says to Steve over the phone, and hangs up. He doesn’t expand, and Steve doesn’t know what to expect. 

Everybody is here in Wakanda now; Thor, Natasha, Bruce, even that kid Parker had gathered in the little house that they had been staying in for half a year already. 

Steve tells the others, and they all tense up. The hour passes by agonizingly slowly and in angry silence, when the door finally opens and T’Challa strolls in, pushing Tony in on a wheelchair. 

Tony keeps his expression painfully blank, and ignores the glares and looks of varying levels of pity he receives upon entering. 

It’s Clint who breaks the silence, “Still in a wheelchair, Stark? You know, your beg for attention and pity may have worked at first, but it’s honestly getting old.”

Steve sees T’Challa tense up at Clint’s words out of the corner of his eye, and Tony’s face remains carefully neutral. 

“What game are you playing at, Stark?” Wanda bites out, “The wheelchair thing isn’t cute anymore.” 

Tony sighs and gives a small laugh, bitterly, “I guess that I’m such a shitty person that when I’m in a wheelchair after being almost beaten to death, you think it’s just a scam for sympathy, huh?”

“You bastard,” Clint snarls, “You put me in jail. You took me out of my retirement, my happy life with my kids and wife.”

“I didn’t do that. You came voluntarily, or at least after Captain asked you to.” Tony’s mouth is set in a thin line. 

“And if you hadn’t overreacted, then none of this would’ve happened! Seriously, Stark, what’re you getting at, with the wheelchair? Are you trying to get the people in this room to feel bad for you because boo-hoo-hoo, you didn’t get enough attention when you were little from your daddy, so now you come crying to–”

“Enough!” T’Challa roars, and that’s enough to shut Clint up. The king clears his throat, and says to Tony quietly, “Tell them.”

“But I don’t want to.” Tony replies in a small voice, and T’Challa just raises a brow. 

“Fine,” Tony says, squaring his shoulders and taking a deep breath, meeting the unimpressed glares, 

“I’m paralyzed.”

The room is silent. 

“Paralyzed?” Steve hears himself ask, but his brain doesn’t register the action. 

“Yeah, paralyzed, as in I can’t move my legs, hence the wheelchair.” Tony shoots a look at Clint, who looks like a thunderbolt had struck him (maybe one did, since Thor was looking murderous at the moment). 

Tony looks around the room; Scott and Peter look strangely horrified, Steve is looking at him with guilt swimming in his eyes, Sam looks grim, Thor looks like he’s ready to kill someone (preferably Clint, Tony thinks), Natasha would seem completely calm if Tony didn't know her well enough to see the set of her jaw (and he wishes he didn't), Wanda looks shocked, Bruce with sympathy and sorrow, and Clint looks mortified and sorry and guilty– this is exactly why he didn’t want to tell them. He didn’t want their fucking pity. 

“Tony, I–”

“Save it, Barton,” Tony snaps back, “Just–just shut the fuck up before I fucking cut your tongue out of your mouth.

“Look, save me the crying bit and the whole ‘I’m sorry, Tony, that we were self-righteous assholes that judged you without trying to listen to your side of the story, and if we had just signed the Accords in the first place, then you wouldn’t be paralyzed and I wouldn’t have all this guilt swimming around in my stomach.’ thing. Because I know that you’re not actually sorry for what you did, you still think you’re in the _right_ , for some fucked-up reason, you would just say that to soothe your own guilt.” Tony glares at the rest of the room. 

“Well, guess what?” Tony widens his eyes, “Apologies aren’t gonna magically heal my legs!”

A long silence falls over the room. 

“That still doesn’t explain why you randomly attacked Barnes in Siberia.” Wanda says stiffly, crossing her arms once again. 

Clint instantly got defensive again, “That's true, Stark, if you didn’t go batshit crazy on Barnes, then you wouldn’t be paralyzed. You need to take some responsibility for this.”

“Yes, I agree that it was partially my fault,” Tony says with mock-sweetness and pauses to think for a second, and turns to Steve. “Oh, Cap, did you talk to them about any of this at all?” 

Steve stills, because he knows exactly what Tony’s talking about, and he also knows exactly why he didn’t tell his team. 

“He didn’t tell us anything?” Clint tilts his head at Tony and sneers, “Oh, he told us plenty. How you randomly attacked Barnes and used your repulsors, and how you blasted his fucking left arm off.”

“Ah, I see that he didn’t tell you the good part, then,” Tony says, smiling a bit, and nods his head at Steve, “Come on, Steve, tell them.” 

When Steve doesn’t say anything, Tony’s smile just widens. 

“I’ll do it, then,” He says, and Steve is frozen, he can’t bring himself to say anything or stop Tony, and he realizes that it’s because his subconscious doesn’t want him to. He deserves this. 

“I didn’t attack Barnes without a precedent. There was a video,” Tony explains slowly, “Of Barnes killing my parents. 

“They both fought me, and Barnes started to take out the arc reactor,” Tony continues, “Safety protocol automatically sent out a blast from the reactor, taking out his left arm. Just for the record, I didn’t actually want to blast the guy’s arm off, but if FRIDAY hadn’t done that I’d probably be much worse off than paralyzed right now,”

Bruce looks angry. 

“Then–well, I guess I deserved this part–Cap started beating me up,” Tony says, baring his teeth unkindly. “So it got to the point where he had to smash his shield into the reactor, which luckily is _not_ the only thing keeping me alive,

“And then he walked away. You know, I probably would’ve died if Your Pantherness didn’t get there in time. Thanks, T, and thanks, _Steve_.” Tony shrugs, although Steve can feel the heat of Tony’s gaze. 

T’Challa’s fists are clenched tightly by his side, because this is his first time hearing the story as well. 

Steve focuses intently on a fraying spot on the couch as he feels pairs of eyes digging into him. 

“So, I guess that’s my story, and I came here today to talk to you about the Accords–I know, _boring_ , and causes people to almost kill each other–I got General Ross to revoke them,” Tony says, and Steve realizes that Tony’s expression had never once changed throughout the entire encounter, “So now, Captain, you and your team of lovable misfits can keep doing whatever the hell you think is good for the world,

“I’m gonna take off now, T,” He says, addressing T’Challa, “Ciao.” He gives a mock salute, and he’s gone. 

The room is silent for a few moments, before T’Challa clenches then unclenches his fists, and turns to Steve, 

“I once thought of you as an honorable man, Captain Rogers.”

**Author's Note:**

> Comment and vote! Thanks!


End file.
